OLD Flatland Amateur Radio Transmitting Society
All Rights Reserved
The purpose of the Old Flatland Amateur Radio Transmitting Society is to have fun and take nothing to seriously. I am tired of Amateur Radio clubs and all the political wrangling. I have quit them and decided to turn into a real old fart. So, in an effort to make a club pleasing to me and others, I started this Society as a anti-club club.
The Society is based in Kansas...thus the term "Flatland." It can happen anywhere if you have a flat space on your property. Anyone can join the Society and become a member. Membership is rather loose and depends on if we like you or not with a few added points. How's that for "elitism." Lets look at the Society. Remember, OLD F.A.R.T.S. is an anti-club club.
|"If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!"|
|There will be no officers.||There will be no Society frequency. Make your own.|
|There will be no dues.||Family comes before the Society, Ham Radio, or just about anything else.|
|There will be no newsletter.||Contesting, DXing, chasing various awards, traffic handling are highly encouraged.|
|There will be no club station.||Society members will never use foul language on the bands. (This is just bad for Ham Radio)|
|There will be no club T-Shirts.||Society members will be eager to help anyone interested in our way of life (You should have that by now).|
|There will be no club emergency communications vehicle.||Teenagers are to be encourage into Ham Radio and away from these damn computers.|
|There will be no damn club repeater on any of the geek bands.||Society Members must bathe before going to a hamfest or church. Phew!|
I repeat, there will be no damn club repeater on any of the geek bands.
|If you have to, you can talk about your ailments, but you should never talk about bodily fluids.|
|You must operate primarily below 30 Mhz.||
Hemorioids are not ragchewing discussion points.
|Waivers can be made for those Hams who operate above 30 Mhz using SSB or CW.||Society members do not drink beer and then go mobile.|
|FM operation is discouraged except while travelling, during Tornado Warnings, or DX Spotting.||Members in good standing will always look for antennas and towers when they travel.|
|No one has a handle, everyone has a name in the Society.||Members are encouraged (when travelling) to get off the Interstate or the main road and take a detour to tower and antennas locations.|
|FM Simplex is the official mode if you have to operate FM above 30 Mhz.||Building your own equipment is cool with Society members.|
|You must attend one ham radio event a year which could be Dayton or having coffee with a buddy.||You do not have to have a call sign license plate on any or all of your vehicles.|
|You must operate in a "national" event at least once a year; i.e. FD, SS, SKN, NAQP, yadda, yadda||You must have one additional hobby or interest other than ham radio. Makes us OLD F.A.R.T.S well rounded individuals. :>)|
|CW is highly encouraged, but SSB operators are not second class citizens.||OLD F.A.R.T.S. can be any age as long as they adhere to all the rules.|
|Digital communication is OK as long as it is not that "packet racket." PSK31 and all the cooler stuff is encouraged.||Your spouse does not have to be a ham, but they sure damn well be understanding about the hobby. Members will be sympathetic to members who are not fortunate in this area.|
|You must have a ham radio baseball cap. No Exceptions!||OLD F.A.R.T.S. are patriotic with a great sense of humor.|
|HF Amplifiers are not needed but highly encouraged.||A member's weight will never be discussed on or off the air.|
|Tall ugly big mother towers are not needed but highly encouraged.||Members should know Ohm's Law and how to apply it in their lives.|
|VHF Whips on your car are not allowed, but something like a Texas Bug Catcher is encouraged.||Code speeds over 30 wpm are highly encouraged, but members should QRS when needed. It is highly encouraged to adapt your speed to the person you are working.|
|A CW Paddle in the car makes you cool with Society members.||Contesting is respected and all members should particiapte in a contest once.|
|Admission to the Society is by nomination with Ham Radio Resume. You may email me your resume and I can nominate you.||Society members will always help other hams. Society members should not help those hams who are know-it-alls, power hungry in the club, or just downright jerks.|
|The Society will never meet en mass.||Society members share thier experiences and expertise|
|Society members are encouraged to have improptu meetings on any band below 30 Mhz.||Society members keep abreast of what is happening in ham radio, the world, and what are the coolest rigs on the market today.|
OLD F.A.R.T.S. Certificate of Membership
If you have more requirements for OLD F.A.R.T.S., please email me and I will consider them.