Mathematical Model on How to Get Ahead in Life

Now there is away to look at a mathematical model of how you get ahead in this world. So, here is how it works. Using the chart below we can calculate how you can get ahead in this world:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Hard Work 8 + 1 + 18 + 4 + 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 98
Knowledge 11 + 14 + 15 + 23 + 12 + 5 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 96
Attitude 1 + 20 + 20 + 9 + 20 + 21 + 4 + 5 = 100
Bullshit 2 + 21 + 12 + 12 + 19 + 8 + 9 + 20 = 103
Ass Kissing 1 + 19 + 19 + 11 + 9 + 19 + 19 + 9 +14 + 7 = 127

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

This is not my original work, but it is sure fun to think about - LGB (4-5-05)