Obituary of Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he
was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life
isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple sound financial policies: Don't spend more
than you can earn. And reliable strategies: Adults, not children, are
His health began to deteriorate when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than
Common Sense took a beating when it became punishable for you to defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home but the burglar could sue you
He began to lose ground rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing
a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, discretion; his Daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do